Arsenal came to town on the 24th July 2012 and had a friendly match with the Malaysian National Team. After missing last year's game due to my finals, I never thought I would ever get to see them here again but I was wrong, happily proven wrong I might add.
I was quite a surreal experience watching my favourite team right in front of me as I was used to seeing them on the television, I did not know how to react but due to the fantastic atmosphere around me, I just continued to cheer on. The support from where I was sitting was tremendous, cheering on for both teams and showing appreciation when players try to make something happen on the pitch. I was weird for me as I wanted Arsenal to win but watching the Malaysian team playing, I cheered as well. The game had to end, and I soon head on home, satisfied. It was definitely the best day of my life so far and I hope for more of the same =).
On the down side though, I was a shame for me as I did not get to share such a special moment personally with someone special. I'd seen a family, a dad, his son and his three daughters, all clad in the Arsenal kit and walking into the stadium while there are also many couples, guys' arm around the girl all over the stadium. Just cannot help but realise that I was alone, with no one to share with but with the 22 players in front of me throughout the 90 minutes, I guess it was enough =).
"Why is the clock even running, if my world isn't turning?"
"You tear into pieces my heart, before you leave with no repentance"
Wanted to share a ballad, by a Brazilian Power Metal/Progressive Metal band called "Angra". As I talked about progressive metal, now I would do a little introduction on power metal (PM). In PM, one would normally find that the lyrics are a little mystical or somewhat like a fantasy. In addition, they usually do not sound too heavy and goes with a fast tempo helped on with double bass kick drums which I absoulutely adore =).
The song, as I interpret it, is about the waiting of a loved one, either he/she left or is dead. As I am now, still waiting for my moment to come. Still waiting...
*Note, I do not own the video and all credit will go its rightful owner*
Above is a piece, called 'The Spirit Carries On' performed live by one of my favourite bands, Dream Theater. I would recommend my readers (if there are any) do listen to it.
I once wrote on Facebook, if only I have known the band earlier than I have now, then I guess pursuing a full time career in music won't be that distant of a dream after all? Maybe it's the way I brought up? It is only now, upon the completion of my degree course that I realise, there were other paths opened to me 4 years ago that I never realised. All I heard back then was business is the way to go and in choosing management, I had to fight for it as well as my dad wanted me in accounting which I never liked. I wanted to try out in culinary but all I had was negative feedback then..
As I looked back, I could had ventured into the field of sports management or sports science, sometime I know I really like and passionate about but I choose my path and now I need to keep moving forward. This reminded me of a piece of literature I came across in my schooling days "The Road Not Taken".
Enough of those nostalgic moments, the above masterpiece, believe or not is also part of metal. Metal is not all about loud music, hand banging, booze drinking, profanity shouting or a bunch of angry people making music, that is another genre of metal which I, a metal head also do not really appreciate. This one above is more of progressive metal, where the piece is structure in a way that the lyrics never really gets repeated as the music is delivering a story, that's progressive metal in a nutshell.
I enjoy metal mainly because I enjoy watching and listening to awesome guitar riffs and solos. That guitar intro there, got me in tears once ='). In addition, metal bands ALWAYS perform live, which is another major plus unlike what is happening with autotunes or lip-sync that is all too common during performances nowadays.
That's all for me this time, hope you enjoy your short stay on my blog =)
As I was rewatching "The Dark Knight", I cannot help but to realise that Bruce Wayne actually got friendzoned back Rachel. Look up the scene where Alfred was reading the letter Rachel left for Bruce =). I mean, someone with the quality of Bruce Wayne actually gets friendzone by someone he loves, what are my chances now? XD
Speaking of friendzone, I would like to quote Albert Einstein. The great man once said, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results". Well girls, how can you justify when you say, "All men are the same?" when you just like to friendzone someone who just seemed "too nice"? While probably going after some douche who has endless "SWAG", try using SWAG when raising and feeding your kids next time. I got it a few times for that exact reason and why do you think the number of gentlemen is falling in today's society?
Which one is worse? Being a lone ranger with no one around or having to deal with loneliness among people and loved ones? Both sucks but given a choice, I'll settle for the first choice.
My first official post. A new journey in writing and let's hope this is the last blog that I'll be starting.
In this post, I'll write something on the topic of love, how I see it and what it means to me. Love to me is actually just a very simple thing, two people, irregardless of sexuality, race or colour, care genuinely for each other and is there for each other. But I guess when you add the human element, which on its own is already very complicated, then love becomes complicated as well. There are issues like communication, trust, timing and yada yada yada, I can go on and on but I think you get the picture? What is meant to be simple, keep it that way. I am a simple person so during my previous relationships, I kept it quite simple, aside from special events, not much of the fancy stuff seen on the silver screen as that's their perspective on romance, not mine and girls tend to get draw into that idea of romance and would at times expect surprises or event on that scale.
I often say to myself and my previous halves, I will love you to the best of my abilities and all I ask is for you to help me to do better, let me know what you want or where I am lacking in. However, that's not how the world works and by the time I get to know is during each arguments and any effort after that would be deemed pointless as it is always seen as me only doing it to avoid another argument. *shrugs* I guess hate the player and not the game?
I get attracted when I see a girl who ticks my boxes but whether or not I pursue the chance is another issue. I have been more of a reserved and cowardly guy when it comes to girls and I see myself as the Malaysian "Ted Mosby from HIMYM". I think way too much and wait far too long for 'perfect timing/scenario' for my own good. Good things come to those who wait clearly does not apply in such scenarios.
There are highs and lows of being single. Highs being times when seeing couple fights and I won't need to deal with any of it as well as having to spend for myself while the low is the serious lack of a genuine companionship where you can just be yourself. Loneliness is not an issue for me, I have lived through most of my life as a loner which is why I enjoy any form of companionship from friends and family, so to say that I'm rushing into another relationship just because I am lonely may not be valid this time.
When I get asked why am I still single, I have always gone behind the excuse that I do not get to meet new people and left it at there. Then in comes my university mate, and introduced me to this app, skout which by and large is used for flirting purposes. He said he is 'doing relatively well' there and asked me to give it a go. Tried I did and although interacting behind a screen and keyboard may not exactly be the best first impression, but it showed me that its not that hard to get to know new people at all, so a little confidence boost for me there =).
Adopting a quote from the movie, "The Pursuit of Happyness", Chirstopher Gardner (Will Smith) said this to his son:
"Hey, don't let somebody tell you.. You can't do something. Not even me, all right?
You gotta a dream, you gotta protect it.
People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you can't do it.
If you want somethin', go get it.
Period."
I guess this is the spirit I should be having in pursuit of my own happiness. I need to quit waiting around for opportunities to fall on my door step and I need to start making my own luck. As how Barney Stinson told Ted, think less, just do! That's what I need now. Rejection will hurt, but at least I get a proper closure, not doing anything will only results in 'what ifs' for the rest of my life.
There is also the issue of love at first sight. This is one that I feel more strongly as I grow older. I have heard people say he/she loves the other half because of his/her personality. Let me ask you this, what do you notice first in a person? Unless you can tell a person's personality by just looking, then you can get me to shut up. On a different note, I'll end my post with a music video. Its a electro plus screamo type of song. Pretty cool if you ask me.
P/S:- Sorry if the post seemed very disorganised. I haven't been writing in a while, feel kinda lost halfway. I vow to improve as soon as possible =)
This post was written back on August 30th, 2011, titled: "Persona"
I can't sleep and I cannot wait until September to write my next post. Been burning with a desire to write nowadays. I am going to write something on an aspect of me which I mentioned a few times before but this time I think I understand that side of me better with the help of the video below:
After watching it the first time, it's like getting slapped in the face and then only come into realisation that, what he is talking about is actually a big part of what and who I am. He talked about 'perfect people' and started off by saying how people under this category showcase their love which I kinda disagree as I do not think I am like that =P. Moving on..
Next, he touched on the point of the misconception between a control freak and a perfect person. I find some relevance in here as well, because looking back, I have been very particular with how certain things should be, be it with my friends or sometimes with my family or just how I arrange my laundry. Some may have cursed within themselves at me for being such a hard head or control freak but truth is, I am not and never even had the intention of being controlling, a better term used by the speaker was that people like me are always on the hunt of getting things 'right', but getting things right is very subjective and our 'right' may not be your 'right', so there you go.
The speaker then pointed out with an example of the furniture on the Titanic which I find a bit exaggerating but funny nonetheless, an example of me being in such state would be when I am driving. I am a nutter when it comes to the law, if I am given an option, I prefer not to make an illegal U-Turn and make an extra 5 minutes drive to make a legal one, call me dumb but that's how I am. There is also me, waiting at traffic lights during the early hours of the day even when they are no one around. I do not stick to a certain manual nor do I have a religion, I just mainly stick to my principles as they give me a certain closure, which brings us to the next point.
Sensitivity, it is what really set us apart from being a total control maniac. After watching the video, I was able to answer some of the question that even I ask myself at times. This may drag on for a while..
I have always see myself as an emotional guy, but now I find a better word for that, which is sensitive. I feel on a level, at times too strong for my own good. Tell me a thing once, if it strikes me hard enough, I will remember the excruciating detail until the day I die. Simple example? If you ever been a passenger when U drive, you would realise that I will have some troubles determining whether or not have I locked the car doors. Why is this? Because I forgot it once, just once, and my brother reminded me the next morning that the car in the porch was unlocked. Just that once, even I am tired with myself at times that I have to check for numerous times to ensure that the car door is locked. Even with it lock right in front of my eyes, at times I would still question myself just to be sure of the already certain fact.
"What they want is people to be sensitive to their feelings,' is what he said and is what I would agree. Based on this sentence along, memories flashed before me and now I see them in a differ perspective that helps me understand myself better.
I never seen it this way but for most of the things I have done for people around me, especially for my friends is that I believe in karma and I hope that I can be treated the same as how I treat them. However, that is not to be most of the time as I put my friends before me without questions, should they need my help I will try to help. Why? I called myself an idiot many times before this, asking why am I constantly willing to help when they most probably would not be around should I am in need to help or just a simple companionship.
Another example would be why my primary persona is a quiet, shy and soft-spoken type of guy. In my primary school years, my mom always said that I resembles a tiger at home as I was loud and naughty but at school, I resembles a sick kitten instead. Many a times I tried to speak up, and many a times I was either ignored or laughed at as kids can be quite mean without them actually knowing it. I had trouble understanding my emotions but now I guess I was hurt back then. I think since then, I have been more of a listener rather than a speaker and only those whom I grew up with during my teenage years would really know how the real me looks and behave =).
Sticking to my primary school years, although this is not related to the mentioned topic but it can help you see how I function, the incident that I can remember was during an English class, if I may, I was a little better in the language as compared to my peers when I was young and the teacher knew me quite well. It was during one of those spelling exercises done in class, it was one of those words in plural where a 'Y' is replaced with an 'ies' sort of word, like 'fly - flies'. I think I made a simple yet unforgivable error of spelling and wrote 'flys' and as the teacher circled the class, she noticed what I wrote and gave me a hint that I made a mistake, try as I may but I just could not spot it. After realising that I did not manage to correct myself, the teacher asked the whole class to start spelling the word out, and when the first alphabet was spelled out only I realised my mistake but I think that further infuriated her and she lost it a little, scolded me a little and called me stupid with her index finger pointing at me. I was stunned and left a bit ashamed but all I did was just to change the word. The lesson after was history and was taught by the teacher-in-charged of my class, I do not know how but a classmate of mine actually told her what happened and she came over to me, I think my expression was so pitiful that she started to ask whether was I alright, but then, without a word, I cried and I was around 10 or 11 that year. It's just me, the more people cared about me, the more vulnerable I get.
I do not think many would realise this but I am not fond of insects, creepy crawlies or any sort of surprises by them. Why? I guess I must have upset something with my birth given how much I went through before the age of 7..hehe. I was hit in the eye by a flying beetle when I was playing with my neighbour, and why I dislike cats so much is that i was bit, jumped on and being ticklish did not help as well.
But as I get older, I realise I do not take rejections, set backs or stuff along those lines very well. When rejected or facing set backs, I blame myself first before anything for not being up to par. Which is why I can never see myself and approach a stranger and start talking, more so if the person is a girl. I have always envy those people who can just go up to anybody and get a friendly reception and I'm still envious today.
This post is named persona because I recently just changed my profile information. A simple sentence that describes me quite well but to really know my true natural side is when I am doing something I am passionate about and the best is to see when I am gaming or playing sports. It's not that I play every time only to win but it is more to doing the best I can. When playing FIFA with my friends, missed a goal I'll go berserk =P. During futsal, I get loud and got commented once that they never realised I could shout that loud so I guess it must have been loud XD.
Glad to have came across this video, at least I have some part of myself figured out =).
Just to point out, I do not own the video and links (below) so credit goes to the owner.
