My first official post. A new journey in writing and let's hope this is the last blog that I'll be starting.
In this post, I'll write something on the topic of love, how I see it and what it means to me. Love to me is actually just a very simple thing, two people, irregardless of sexuality, race or colour, care genuinely for each other and is there for each other. But I guess when you add the human element, which on its own is already very complicated, then love becomes complicated as well. There are issues like communication, trust, timing and yada yada yada, I can go on and on but I think you get the picture? What is meant to be simple, keep it that way. I am a simple person so during my previous relationships, I kept it quite simple, aside from special events, not much of the fancy stuff seen on the silver screen as that's their perspective on romance, not mine and girls tend to get draw into that idea of romance and would at times expect surprises or event on that scale.
I often say to myself and my previous halves, I will love you to the best of my abilities and all I ask is for you to help me to do better, let me know what you want or where I am lacking in. However, that's not how the world works and by the time I get to know is during each arguments and any effort after that would be deemed pointless as it is always seen as me only doing it to avoid another argument. *shrugs* I guess hate the player and not the game?
I get attracted when I see a girl who ticks my boxes but whether or not I pursue the chance is another issue. I have been more of a reserved and cowardly guy when it comes to girls and I see myself as the Malaysian "Ted Mosby from HIMYM". I think way too much and wait far too long for 'perfect timing/scenario' for my own good. Good things come to those who wait clearly does not apply in such scenarios.
There are highs and lows of being single. Highs being times when seeing couple fights and I won't need to deal with any of it as well as having to spend for myself while the low is the serious lack of a genuine companionship where you can just be yourself. Loneliness is not an issue for me, I have lived through most of my life as a loner which is why I enjoy any form of companionship from friends and family, so to say that I'm rushing into another relationship just because I am lonely may not be valid this time.
When I get asked why am I still single, I have always gone behind the excuse that I do not get to meet new people and left it at there. Then in comes my university mate, and introduced me to this app, skout which by and large is used for flirting purposes. He said he is 'doing relatively well' there and asked me to give it a go. Tried I did and although interacting behind a screen and keyboard may not exactly be the best first impression, but it showed me that its not that hard to get to know new people at all, so a little confidence boost for me there =).
Adopting a quote from the movie, "The Pursuit of Happyness", Chirstopher Gardner (Will Smith) said this to his son:
"Hey, don't let somebody tell you.. You can't do something. Not even me, all right?
You gotta a dream, you gotta protect it.
People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you can't do it.
If you want somethin', go get it.
Period."
I guess this is the spirit I should be having in pursuit of my own happiness. I need to quit waiting around for opportunities to fall on my door step and I need to start making my own luck. As how Barney Stinson told Ted, think less, just do! That's what I need now. Rejection will hurt, but at least I get a proper closure, not doing anything will only results in 'what ifs' for the rest of my life.
There is also the issue of love at first sight. This is one that I feel more strongly as I grow older. I have heard people say he/she loves the other half because of his/her personality. Let me ask you this, what do you notice first in a person? Unless you can tell a person's personality by just looking, then you can get me to shut up. On a different note, I'll end my post with a music video. Its a electro plus screamo type of song. Pretty cool if you ask me.
P/S:- Sorry if the post seemed very disorganised. I haven't been writing in a while, feel kinda lost halfway. I vow to improve as soon as possible =)
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